Justavis

His Notebook

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  Notes, Musings, Etcetera...

  
  

• • It's been a while... June 12th 2013

    It's been almost a year since I wrote in this stupid book. I know it's probably best not to have any documents that can be traced back to me but, lacking any real close confidants I find I must confide in myself.
    
    I still have not moved in with Cayne since he built his new house, though I visit quite often. He's charming and trying his best to behave as to show that he's changed from what he was before. It all seems too good to be true. They say you cannot teach an old dog new tricks and I find myself waiting to be disappointed--waiting for the shoe to drop.
    
    The main purpose of my writing however is the troubling affair of my latest contract. This is no black-market deal but a question of dress-making. I have been commissioned by a Madame Dun. She is a severe woman. Intimidating. She...
    
    It is hard to get this down adequately on paper.
    
    In the conversation we had she said some things that caused a stir in me. I don't think I've ever felt so many different and opposing emotions in such a short amount of time before. She is not one of the fair, giggling maids that Ben and I courted in our youth. She is not like any woman I've known. There is an alarming coldness in her yet somehow she makes everything seem oppressively hot.
    
    I feel I might have spoken out of turn. Maybe she did not imply anything and my imagination got the best of me. As always, I will hold my chin high and try to live honestly. I will take all of the terrors that haunt me and dress the Madame in them.
    
    I don't know if it will be therapeutic or sadistic to make others feel what I feel when they look at her.

  • He's back. April 14th 2012

    Cayne's returned.
    
    I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this.
    
    The monster, now called Cephas, is seeming more logical and reasonable every day.
    
    Maybe I really am going mad...

  • Dinner Date April 6th 2012

    I had a dinner date with the good Doctor tonight. I decided that he'd be more comfortable dining in the private kitchens rather than in the main bar since he expressed some discomfort with the notion that I might be courting him. Lord only knows where he picked that up. Where I'm from it isn't scandalous at all for two men to enjoy a dinner. What really gets people talking is when a man is seen in the company with an unchaperoned, unwed woman.
    
    Then again, I am in Guilderiem and things are different here. Perhaps I might have said something too forward without knowing.
    
    In any event dinner went by well even though neither of us really touched our food. The Doctor seems interested in getting this special fabric lining sewn into his cloak that prevents someone from seeing his soul or aura or whatever you might call it. He did a decent enough job doing it himself, for someone who isn't a tailor. I offered my services but the fellow didn't take them.
    
    The only thing that went awry is that the Doctor mentioned my watch. I tried to bluff and make it out to be just a regular timepiece and, apparently, it worked. I told him the time was just too slow because I hadn't wound it at all. Thank the heavens he didn't ask to get a closer look at it--not that it looks any different from any other pocket watch. It would just be disastrous if he pulled the pin to it. Could you imagine?! Dropping dead, right there at dinner.
    
    Ah, well... I shall just have to be more careful.

  • Disasters Abound April 2nd 2012

    Just when I thought everything was going all right, disaster strikes! And, I must say, when it rains it pours.
    
    First, I shall say that the commission work I did for the good Doctor was well-received. He loved the work! Especially the tie with the silk screened caduceus. I may have come across as a bit over-zealous but it has been so long since I've had work to do or a friendly face to talk to that my exuberance may have been a bit overwhelming for the poor man...
    
    In any case, I hope to develop a good rapport with him. I should be fine as long as I am mindful of the dangers of making friends with physicians: a tireless, ageless, illness-free friend tends to raise questions a lot quicker with that sort.
    
    Unfortunately, this is where my good day ends. Phinaeus is back in town. I invited her to dinner, of course but, unsurprisingly, she declined. She told me of the unspeakable things she did just to survive and, I couldn't help but get cross with her for not accepting my charity or my offers of employment. In short, she made it quite clear that her feelings for me make it utterly impossible for her to do anything remotely smacking of logic and good sense. I dislike the school of thought that says women are sensitive creatures, prone to folly and hysterics because of their soft hearts. I'd like to think that women are just as capable as men but Miss Phin makes it very difficult for me to hold onto my modern beliefs.
    
    The best I could do for her was open a tab under my name for her and bid her good night. I do not think she will use it but I want the option to be there. It seems silly to starve one's self over matters of the heart. In any event, I resolved to eat dinner alone. I'm not in the habit of forcing myself upon people whom clearly do not want my company.
    
    It was then things got worse. The monster that haunts me has appeared yet again and no matter what I do he (and I do use that term loosely) will not leave me alone. The creature is still childish, stubborn and unforgivably rude. Even when I saw fit to clothe the pitiful thing, it left my room with not even so much as a thank you!
    
    The most unbearable bit of it all is that he's as tactile and perverse as Lucy. Neither of them have even a smattering of decency or an inkling of what 'personal space' means! He was lewd and far too...too...forward for my liking. He mentioned an interest in Miss Phin, to which I immediately and vehemently opposed. It was a gesture, I fear, which only served to amuse him.
    
    Fortunately, when I ignored him he went away.
    
    The man doesn't seem to understand the concept of salutations and good byes.

  • For the First Time... March 31st 2012

    I've never bothered to keep a journal.
    
    When Cayne was still around he forbade it, along with many other things such as: going out, meeting new people, socializing and--near the end--even working. At first I had believed him when he said such things were dangerous. After all, our occupations were less than savory and Cayne had several identities to protect. Boredom and loneliness soon led to a hunger to work, an urge to fall back on my own skills. I did some tailoring on the side, along with some creative freelance work but Cayne soon insisted upon my retirement.
    
    I wonder now if I had become more of an object than a person to him. Who can say? It has been so long since I last saw him and he took his watch with him so I cannot possibly know if he's even still alive. Perhaps someone finally figured out how to kill him. Maybe he finally just wound down. Maybe he is alive and somewhere out there, inebriated and disorderly. Perhaps it's only a matter of time before he returns to me and the rest of the possessions he left behind...
    
    I try not to think of it much. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
    
    I'm my own man now. I've a business several successful businesses. I've more money than God and, somehow, I've managed to make some friends. So, for the first time in my life I'm going to do what I want. For the first time, I will keep a journal.
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  Friends, Family, Enemies and Acquaintences

  
  

• Friends

  	Doc Scalpel (played by legatoknight)
  Nice doctor who I once played assistant to. I find we're quickly building a rapport.

  Enemies

  	Splice (played by Hooke)
  Childish monster. Unsatisfied with taking my eye, he continues to haunt me. I've given him the name Cephas, short for Josephus.

  Family

  	Luciella DeVilla (played anonymously)

  Acquaintances

  	Jihan (played by CrescentNomad)
  A man who speaks far too much about topics that make people uncomfortable.

  	Ramon (played anonymously)
  This is a man whom I think is probably a pirate.

  	The Vessel (played by Hooke)

  	Madame Dun (played by Hooke)
  I've been called to design clothes for this woman. She's...alarming.